Introduction

Last September I should have been on a trip to a local brewery with some friends. I say ‘should have’ because I withdrew from the event. The reason I withdrew?

Just six letters, one forward slash and a space.

Let me try and explain…

Some necessary background

Before my medical problems started in the summer of 2009, I was a frequent customer in my local pub. It’s a great place to meet friends and have a drink, some conversation and some laughs.

During the summer months last year, I found myself able – though limited – to visit the pub again. It got me out of my flat and talking to people again in a social environment. During the time of my hip problems my depression had returned, so my visits to the pub were an alternative to sitting and staring at four walls all day.

Plus, it gave me the opportunity to exercise muscles, nerves and other tissue damaged during my 10 operations.

But, was I visiting too often?

Well, at least one person seemed to think it was too often.

The brewery trip

The management of my local pub had announced a trip to a local brewery. You know the kind of thing: Trip around the brewery and then hospitality. The management were going to pay the transport costs and interested people were to pay a nominal sum for the hospitality.

The details and a sign-up form were duly posted in the pub. Several of my friends had signed up and I thought to myself that, as I hadn’t been out of the village much because of the hip, it would be a fun day out with friends.

So I signed up and was really looking forward to the event.

Then, a couple of days later, I noticed that someone had added the following after my name:

c/o DHSS

(Note: ‘c/o’ is an abbreviation for ‘care of’. ‘DHSS’ is an abbreviation for ‘Department of Health and Social Security’, but this organisation changed its name in 1988!)

That’s all. Just six letters, one forward slash and a space.

At first, I thought it was just one of my friends having a laugh at my expense. No problem there.

Over the next day or two though, it became apparent that it wasn’t one of my friends.

I started to feel guilty and even more depressed.

After all, you really shouldn’t be out socialising when you’re receiving disability benefits – should you?

It was at this point that I scored through my name on the list.

The issue consumed me – in a totally negative way. I couldn’t sleep or think properly because of what someone had done. It had really, really got to me.

I wondered why someone would do this to me and I came up with 3 possibilities:

• Petty malice.
• Disablism.
• Disability hate.

Was it just petty malice?

We all have people in our lives that, for whatever reason, we simply don’t get on with. I’m no different and I can think of at least 3 or 4 people capable of this puerile kind of act.

If you live in a city or large town, it’s easy to avoid people you don’t get on with. In a rural setting, however, it’s much harder.

So, was this just an act of petty malice? Carried out to let those concerned advertise their personal dislike of me?

Or was it something else entirely?

Was it disablism?

In his article “Defining disablism”, written for BADD (Blogging Against Disablism Day), 2009, James Coltham defines disablism as:

discriminatory, oppressive or abusive behaviour arising from the belief that disabled people are inferior to others, or through not acknowledging that disabled people are equal and taking reasonable measures to protect their rights accordingly.

Well, in my opinion, I’ve definitely been the victim of “abusive behaviour”. In this case, the abuse wasn’t physical in nature, but mental.

But was the behaviour carried out because of my disability?

Was it an example of disability hate?

A disability hate crime has been defined, by the ‘Disability Hate Crime’ organisation as:

Any incident or crime, which is perceived to be motivated because of a person’s disability or perceived disability, by the victim or any other person, will be classed as “Disability Hate”. This can be committed against a person or property.

The words ‘hate’ and ‘crime’ are very powerful. Visions of physical abuse, fuelled by intense negative emotions, may spring to mind.

Was an actual “crime” committed? To be honest, I’m not sure.

But, an “incident” certainly occurred and I found the remarks to be defamatory and insulting.

To be honest, I haven’t bothered to investigate Scottish law in relation to this.

Conclusions

I’m choosing to believe that the words were the actions of someone with a personal grudge to bear against me.

In short, the affair was the petty and immature act of a bully.

The reasons I think this?

The idiot who wrote the comment hasn’t got the intelligence to realise they were using an out of date term, i.e. DHSS.

They also haven’t got the intelligence to understand what the terms ‘disability hate’ or ‘disablism’ actually mean.

Instead of confronting me and looking me in the eye, they chose to use the methods of pre-pubescent children who write insults on walls and bus shelters.

They displayed the petty behaviour of the school yard bully and we all know that bullies pick mainly on the vulnerable and the weak.

The other thing about bullies is this: They are, invariably, nothing but cowards.

Actually, whoever it was did me an enormous favour. Yes, a favour.

I spent months thinking about it and letting it get me down. Then, just before Christmas, my best friend told me that it hadn’t been done by the person who I thought it was.

How he found out I don’t know. But, this friend wouldn’t lie to me just to make me feel better. He found out to stop me thinking about it.

The favour I mentioned?

Making me realise that you shouldn’t let something like this turn you into a bitter, depressive wanting only revenge.

There’s so much more, so many positive things that you can turn your thoughts to.

It’s not healthy letting the dipsticks of this world getting you all worked up and negative.

Stay positive everyone…

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